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November 05, 2011  |  My political beliefs  |  8294 hit(s)

I belong to the group that has the correct political beliefs. Our side knows the truth, and we're correct about everything, and we're good. The other side is wrong, and they're bad. Our beliefs are true for all circumstances and scenarios. They are valid for all parameters and variables. They apply to all people at all times and for all situations.

Our opponents argue about these beliefs. That's because their morals and thinking are corrupt. They look for weasely ways to rationalize their own unethical behavior. And they hate our beliefs and our nation.

Why is the other side so wrong? Some of them are stupid, or crazy. Many are simple-minded fools who can only parrot the platitudes of their elite. They all are tools of shadowy overlords who manipulate these people's beliefs to thwart the will of all true citizens, probably for financial gain. (Because our opponents are stupid, this is easy.) Some of them hate everything we stand for and are eager to work against their own interests. The important point is that all of them are wrong, always.

History has vindicated us over and over. Our founding fathers all agreed 100% with our beliefs, as we can easily prove by quoting them. These sainted leaders had a unique and inspired vision for our country. But our opponents have co-opted this for their own evil purposes. Sometimes our opponents have temporarily had power, which they gained through deceit and fraud. They then ignored our true and good beliefs and implemented their destructive agenda. Our bitter vindication is that each time they then ran the country straight into the ground.

Sometimes I cannot believe the terrible situation our opponents have gotten us into. Like education. This country once had standards and excellence. But our opponents undermine education by trying to expose young children to ideologically motivated ideas that violate everything that's true. They just want an education system that brainwashes innocent children and that teaches them to scorn us and our beliefs.

I tune in to media that helps me clarify and reinforce my already correct beliefs. These insightful and objective media are filled with stories about how our opponents are idiots and about their latest outrages. These stories affirm how correct we are and how wrong they are. I once tuned in to the media that our opponents slavishly follow. I could not believe the lies, distortions, and character assassinations that passed for "truth" in that media. It was obvious that our opponents are fed propaganda written by media elites to arouse passions against us and to push the elites' agenda. Probably for financial gain.

One of our politicians was recently accused of something underhanded. The opposing media harped on this for blatantly political reasons. Despite his years of selfless service, he will be hounded out of office for this trivial issue, and our opponents will waste precious time and money on this ridiculous political theater. Naturally, when one of their politicians pursues the criminal activity that passes for normal among them, they hypocritically excuse it away, even though it's a blatant affront to everything that's good and true. And even though it's such conclusive evidence that the politician, like all of those party, is a crook and is unsuited to represent people who really care about their country's values.

Whenever a new issue faces our country, I approach it with an open mind and a desire to understand it critically and thoroughly. I weigh the issue and examine it from all viewpoints, because I always want what's best for our city, state, and nation. A remarkable thing is that our party's viewpoints on any issue always turn out to be the correct ones! It's true, though: ask anyone who truly understands the issues and isn't brainwashed by the opponents' relentless propaganda, and you'll find that they agree with us. Just as remarkably, our idiot opponents always have some harebrained view that's 180 degrees away from the truth. Are they just contrary, because they hate us? Probably they're so locked into their brainless political beliefs that they can't see all sides of the issue the way we can. Or they don't think at all, and are just led around by their party elite, probably for financial gain.

Yes, I am blessed to belong to our correct-thinking party. It bothers me, though, that there are so many people who stubbornly cling to incorrect ideas. If they hate our ideals so much, why don't they just go form their own country? If they did, we could finally run things the correct way. And then our country would be a paradise.

Kent Sharkey   05 Nov 11 - 1:25 PM

Utterly brilliant view of our (and your) cultures at the moment.

Unfortunately, it is completely wrong-headed and inappropriate as:

  • Your stridency alienates the independents that our side needs as allies.
  • It wasn't harsh enough in demonizing the other.
  • It was wrong because some politician or figure on your side has behaviour that can be viewed as hypocritical, or is funded by one or more billionaires who don't agree with my side.
  • It lacked an easily repeatable bumper sticker slogan